Great Minds Look Alike

If you have a facebook and you are between the ages of 16 and 25, you probably have some high school seniors rabidly posting their prom albums online.

And if you don’t yet, you will. Soon.

Children,

I understand how excited you are to drive out to Surfside and drink and smoke and sex all over the place with anybody who’s around, but PLEASE don’t clutter my newsfeed with photographic evidence of your debauchery.  I have no problem with any of the above things- it’s pretty much your birthright, especially if you managed to get through four years of BHS.  But there are some things you should know before you go on a posting/tagging spree.  

If you have a prom album, that means you’re probably a high school senior.  Which means you’re probably waiting to be accepted to college if you haven’t been already.  I’m sure you’ve been told that admissions offices creep your facebook to see if you’re someone they want for their school, and that you’ve probably made your profiles private or changed your names.  You should also be told that none of that helps.  They can see you, young ones, whether you are private or not.  They’re magical and scary like that.  

So as cute as so-and-so looks drunkenly straddling that guy who was motorboating her at the exact second you snapped your picture, you probably shouldn’t tag her. You probably shouldn’t put that photo online at all- at least not until you’ve secured yourself a nice comfy spot at your future school.  Yes, what’s-her-face looks great pouring that handle of Jack Daniel’s into her mouth, and I’m sure whoever-his-date-was was lookin’ mighty impressive with her beer staff 13 cans high and her eyes as bloodshot and glazed as the first day of flu season.  Sure, that guy looks like a baller with the spliff hangin’ off his lip, and blonde-dude-with-the-hot-body was probably on cloud nine when those 3 different girls were all licking his chest.  But you don’t want these things on facebook. Really. ESPECIALLY if you haven’t turned 18 yet. 

Not to mention, it grosses me out every time I head over to my homepage and that’s all I see in my feed for hours at a time. So out of respect for yourselves (but more importantly, for me), give it a rest.

Or don’t. It’s a fun laugh each time one of you idiots gets rejected from UT because of inappropriate content found on the internet.  But I’m sure until then y’all just can’t untag fast enough. 

-Tanya